I Solemnly Swear
by our dancing days
Summary: "Either you'll put me into Slytherin, or I'll turn you into a common sock!" / Six-parter. The sorting of the Marauders, plus two.
1. Black, Sirius

The Sorting of six Marauder-era students, showing exactly what house they should've been put into, and exactly why they weren't. _The students are in italics, _"and the Sorting hat is normal font in speech marks." Short chapters, updated regularly, and all that's left to say is: enjoy!

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><p><span>Black, Sirius<span>

_Oh, look at all their faces! Hah - they all look more terrified than me! Look, I think that girl just accidently Transfigured her glasses-_

"Ahem?"

_Sorry, were you going to say something?_

"No, I was just going to be your life-accessory. Of course I was going to say something! I _am _trying to sort you here."

_Well, hurry up, old chap. My mother will want to send me more green underwear as soon as possible._

"A Black, it seems. Your mother, you say? Horrid child - she tried to set me on fire back in the day. Can't say I've ever forgiven for her for singing my folds. Nevermind, nevermind. Where to put you, Mr Black? Ravenclaw, perhaps?"

_No - I don't really have the, um, _academic _skills for that. _

"Oh, I can see that, though you are eccentric enough, and possibly intelligent. But no, you're no Ravenclaw. What about Hufflepuff, hmm?"

_Oi! Stop prodding around in there!_

"Well, I have to start somewhere, you know. And you're definitely not a Hufflepuff - look at that impatient streak, it's practically waving at me."

_Stop being sarcastic and get a move on._

"See? Well, if not Ravenclaw, and if not Hufflepuff, what about Gryffindor?"

_I can't be in Gryffindor._

"No? What's wrong with that house? The noblest of all four, in my unbiased opinion. A house of bravery and loyalty and courage - do you not fit into that house? Are you not a little bit reckless, a little bit foolhardy, a little bit impulsive? Are you cunning, Mr Black, or sly? Do you plan revenge meticulously, and are you resourceful?"

_My whole family has been in Slytherin._

"Mr Black, I would've thought we'd gathered this by now: you are _not _your family."

_Then, what am I?_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	2. Evans, Lily

Thank you so much to those of you who read, reviewed, favourited and alerted the previous chapter! You all made me smile :) So, here is the next Sorting, and it may come as a surprise. Enjoy!

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><p><span>Evans, Lily<span>

_A talking hat! A _talking _hat! Oh, how wonderful is this? Can you hear me? Hello, Mr Hat, sir?_

"Yes, yes, I can hear you. Muggleborn, I take it?"

_Oh, yes. Is that going to be a problem?_

"Not at all, my dear, not at all. Now, where to put you..."

_What about Slytherin? Severus - you haven't met him yet, his surname's Snape - Severus says that he's going to be a Slytherin, and we're very much alike. We like all the same things. I'm really sorry, I'm rambling, but this is _Hogwarts. _I still can't believe it._

"Yes, I can see that. However, Miss Evans, I don't think you'll suit Slytherin."

_No?_

"No, no, definitely not. A Ravenclaw, perhaps, but I get the feeling that that would... bore you, if you will. You need a challenge. Yes, that's what you need. You have a thirst for knowledge, but that's not enough."

_It isn't?_

"No... now, usually, for a challenge, I would say Slytherin, but you're not proud, Miss Evans, nor are you sly. If I had to say anything, I'd say you were a Hufflepuff."

_Severus said that Hufflepuff was the ... dumb house._

"And where is there evidence of that? Hufflepuffs are loyal, hardworking, just - all admirable traits, in my honest opinion. I think you would be proud to be in Hufflepuff. Great people have emerged from all four Houses, Miss Evans, and it would do you good to remember that."

_Of course. I'm sorry._

"Not your fault. If this self-proclaimed Slytherin boy has been your only influence, I can see why you'd think that."

_Severus isn't a bad person!_

"I didn't say he was, my dear, but my issue, at this current moment, is not Mr Snape, but you. Now, let's look a little bit deeper... oh, yes. Look at that bravery! Look at the stubbornness, the chivalry! If you don't want Hufflepuuff, then I think I know just where to put you. Don't worry, Miss Evans; rest assured, you'll get your adventure."

_Where-_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	3. Lupin, Remus

Thank you _so _much to everyone who reads this - every single one of you gives me inspiration to write. We're half way through now, leaving just three of my ultimate six left. All I can say is: thank you, and enjoy!

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><p><span>Lupin, Remus<span>

_Hogwarts. _Hogwarts. _I'm at _Hogwarts. _Hogwarts!_

"Yes, Mr Lupin, I had rather hoped that would be obvious by now. I've just had to deal with a particularly vivacious blond haired Slytherin, so I'd really like to hurry this along."

_Oh, of course, sir._

"You're the second person to call me that today. Nevermind, let's have a look here... oh, a werewolf, I see? I think you're aware that we have to take this into account, Mr Lupin, as I'm sure you don't want anybody to discover your secret just yet."

_No, not- not at all._

"I thought so. Now, let's see... I can't say that there's not a Slytherin bone in your body, but it's not prominent. And I have to say, those ambitious little snakes have a habit of finding out secrets."

_Yes, I suppose they do._

"Now, Ravenclaw... I could imagine you in Ravenclaw, boy - studious, eccentric, witty. Oh, yes. But what's this? You're not one to fade into the background, Mr Lupin, however much you try. No, Ravenclaw's not for you."

_Are you sure? I mean, positively sure?_

"Had you expected a different answer, Mr Lupin? I daresay that the Ravenclaws are a tad too intelligent for their own good. And you've got_ it, _again."

It, _sir?_

"That adventurous streak - the wild streak. You're the third one this Sorting."

_What about Hufflepuff?_

"Hufflepuff, Mr Lupin? Is that what you really think? Hardworking, yes, of course - you'd have to be, in your condition - and loyal, to a fault, but naturally patient, just? I think not, my boy. You've trained yourself to be, of course. You've taught yourself to be patient and polite and overall, not very threatening, but I don't think that's you, really. I think you need someone who _revels _in being trouble."

_T-trouble?_

"Oh, yes. In fact, I think you need a whole group of someone's. A whole group of brave, noble, arrogant boys who have a habit of getting into trouble. Yes, I think that'll suit you nicely, Mr Lupin. I know I'm going to sincerely regret putting all you adventurous ones in the same House, but I suppose it has to be done."

_But I want to be a nice, mild-tempered Huffl-_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	4. Pettigrew, Peter

I am _really _happy that everyone seems to be enjoying the story! 10 favourites, 10 alerts and over 500 views! *does little happy dance* This is the beginning of the end, with only two chapters left. Enjoy!

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><p><span>Pettigrew, Peter<span>

_Oh, come on then. Let's get it over with._

"Mr Pettigrew! This is your _Sorting - _this will decide the rest of your life!"

_I already know I'm going to be stuck in Hufflepuff; everyone says so. And I'd really rather just go and sit down._

"Well, put me on your foot and call me a sock if I ever put you in Hufflepuff, my boy! No, no; look at this. You're cunning, aren't you? Manipulative. You don't want much out of life, it seems, and you're not very sure of yourself, but oh, Mr Pettigrew, Slytherin could fix that. Slytherin could make you great."

_Great?_

"Why, of course! Everyone has the potential to be brilliant with the right frame of mind and the right friends... yes, everyone can be brilliant. But where are the right friends for you?"

_I can't be in Slytherin; it's the evil House._

"Evil, boy? Evil has nothing to do with it. Slytherin is a very respectable House. It'd be good for you."

_Any... any other option?_

"Well, I'm only scraping the surface here. Let's see a bit deeper, shall we, my boy? Oh, yes, yes. Look at the wit! You hide it well, of course you do, but that's just the complete _genius _of it. You're completely underestimated. And who would suspect you, Peter? Such a complex structure inside such a small place..."

_Genius? Really?_

"Boy, don't squeak. And yes, of course. Maybe not academically, but intellectually... oh, it's a masterpiece, Mr Pettigrew. You should be very proud of yourself."

_T-thank you, very much._

"Could you see yourself in Ravenclaw, Mr Pettigrew? Could you dedicate yourself to the simple yet effective structure of Rowena's House?"

_I'm not sure._

"You're not, boy? I refuse to put you in Hufflepuff, you refuse Slytherin, and now you're not sure if you're suited for Ravenclaw? What other option is there?"

_Gryffindor. I could be a Gryffindor. I don't seem it - I know I don't - but I'm brave when it matters. I understand people. I have the _nerve _to be in Gryffindor. I promise that._

"Gryffindor? Gryffindors are quite the opposite of Ravenclaws, Mr Pettigrew... it would help you to remember that, in the future. Your future isn't powerful, in Ravenclaw, nor is it outstandingly great, but it's a happy life there, Mr Pettigrew. A better life."

_And in Gryffindor?_

"There are two roads you could travel down if you go to Gryffindor, my boy, and neither of them are easy. That isn't to say that neither of them are wrong."

_Please. My mum said that you can take my feelings into account, if you want to. I can't be a Ravenclaw._

"Maybe I was wrong to suggest that you weren't ambitious, Mr Pettigrew, and I really do wish that you hadn't turned down Slytherin so readily, even if you are more Ravenclaw inside. I suppose... People will wonder at my decision, boy, and I consider it your duty to put them right. Be brave, Mr Pettigrew, and try to live without regrets, unlike me."

_Of course I-_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	5. Potter, James

Thank you all so much for the great response! I'm glad you like the character of the Sorting Hat, because I adore him too. We have one Sorting left - and it's a special one, of course - so which person has been your favourite so far? Do you like the Hat's or their responses, or maybe you agree with the Hat's observations, or maybe it's completed unexpected! Let's see which chapter gave you more food for thought. For now, though, enjoy!

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><p><span>Potter, James<span>

_I don't believe we've met._

"Well, of course not, boy. I'm the Sorting Hat, and you only get Sorted once, you know."

_Don't you think that they Sort too early?_

"What do you mean, _too early?"_

_I mean, come on; we're eleven! We're not exactly going to be all that insightful, are we? How are we supposed to know who we are at eleven, or even a hundred and eleven? It's all very sketchy, if you ask me. I think you have an ulterior motive._

"Ulterior... motive? Oh, never mind that. I _do _need to Sort you in the next five minutes, you know."

_What's the longest time taken to Sort someone?_

"You're an inquisitive one, aren't you? Impulsive, too, but intelligent. I have to say, I've Sorted three very intelligent Gryffindors so far, and one that no one knows what to do with. What are you?"

_I'm mix of both, I think._

"That you are, that you are. Exceedingly arrogant, I suppose, but that comes with living over a decade, especially for a pureblood."

_I'm not your average pureblood._

"No, no, I don't suppose you are. Despite your confidence and, _well, _intelligence, shall we say, I can't see you in Ravenclaw. Not nearly studious enough, and your comebacks would be laughed at there."

_Oi!_

_"_Well, we can't hang around boy, and I _do _have to sort you, conspiracy or not. Now, let's see Hufflepuff... oh, it's laughable, really! Patience is something you have yet to learn, as well as not to be prejudiced. Just, I suppose, but only when _really _pressed. No, no, that's not the house for you."

_I thought you were the one that said we have to hurry up, here. _

"Alright! You weren't exacrty rushing earlier... Now, brave, loyal, yes, yes, but cunning too, insightful, resourceful..."

_Cunning? I'm no _snake.

"I believe that's for me to decide, don't you? After all, I know your head even better than you do. I wouldn't brush aside Slytherin house so quickly, Mr Potter."

_Please; my dad, he wouldn't want me to-_

"I'm not interested in your father, though I seem to remember that he had a rather cunning streak in him as well. Ah, yes, you can see that, can't you? No one is suited to just one house, Mr Potter, and you would do well to remember that."

_So... where are you going to place me?_

"I don't suppose I really had a choice here anyway, with this hero-complex you have, but just think about it; you would've done well in Slytherin."

_I-_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	6. Snape, Severus

Okay. After two months, it's _finally _here; say hello to the final chapter! The Sorting Hat gets philosophical in this one - I'm warning you now. I really hope you've enjoyed this short series, and I hope to see you next time I work with the Sorting Hat! I can't help it; it loves me! Thank you for the great response, and finally, enjoy!

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><p><span>Snape, Severus<span>

_Go on. Get it over with. _

"Now, now, young man. You're the fifth impatient person today, and I don't think I can take much more. Why don't I just land you in Hufflepuff, if you're so adamant to finish quickly?"

_Hufflepuff? Are you... are you some kind of _monster? _You can't land me with them!_

"I wouldn't do that to those charming students, you're far too Slytherin for that."

_Finally, we're getting somewhere. _

"But let's have a look at the other Houses - Ravenclaw. Witty, _yes, _though a tad too insulting for my taste, intelligent, too. But not quite studious, I have to say. And Hufflepuff - you won't work hard for something you don't believe in, you're not exactly _loyal _and, well. It's not Hufflepuff for you, my boy."

_Yes, yes, so, Slytherin, right?_

"If it was that easy, I would have retired by now. Over a thousand years I've been doing this, and no mind is ever _easy! _Now, let's see here..."

_I'm waiting._

"Bravery, courage, yes. Chivalry - in dribs and drabs, I suppose so, yes. And reckless, yes, when you let go of your defences and walls. So many walls for one so young, Mr Snape. Yes, you'd belong in Gryffindor."

_Either you'll put me into Slytherin, or _I'll _turn you into a common sock! _

"It could save you, my boy. Repent you. True _allies_ in Slytherin, yes, but not friends, never friends. You need friends, Mr Snape, lest you forget what it's like to be loved. Gryffindor would suit you. You would find a home there."

_I don't need a home; I need a school. _

"School? Boy, school just comes with the territory. Anybody can find a _school._"

_I'm not just anybody. And, besides... I'm not brave._

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, 'I will try again tomorrow'. Sometimes bravery is the little voice you hear whisper 'maybe' when it seems like the entire world is shouting 'no!'"

_At this rate, you might as well place me in Hufflepuff with all this sentimental codswallop. _

"Well, if you insist..."

_No! _

"Well, then. Slytherin or Gryffindor, Slytherin or Gryffindor... you're a tricky customer, eh, lad? I suppose... I suppose I'll give you a choice, my boy. Gryffindor or Slytherin?"

_I... I don't know. _

"Are you sure, then?"

_What do you mean? I just can't choose. _

"Then that is your choice. Good luck, Mister Snape."

_For _what? _I-_

"SLYTHERIN!"


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